From the November 2022 IBDP History Paper 2 Exam
Outstanding example from excellent student under strict examination conditions:
My comments:
11/15:
Pretty well-structured with a clear introduction establishing similarities and differences, balanced paragraphs comparing aggressors, domestic issues, pre-existing conflict, foreign influence, parties, and ideology, and a conclusion that directly synthesised the comparison. Thought your organisation was effective and the comparative framework sustained throughout.
Some really impressive details- need to remember that Figes argument about communism corroding Russia's soul. Most of your classmates indicated no attempt to prepare for Korea; here you write of North Korean industrial superiority v South agricultural base, border skirmishes claiming over 100 000 lives before June 1950, etc. Lots of specific facts all placed within historical context with secure grasp of causation- that lets me credit you for concepts.
Some really good links and comparisons: communist aggressors in both (Lenin/Kim), territorial/economic disparities mirroring Red centralisation versus White/Green periphery, pre-war violence at 38th parallel paralleled with Legion revolt, foreign influence decisive in Korea but not in Russia, multiple parties/ideology in Russia v binary unification goal in Korea... Need to use this as a model essay.
Some awareness and evaluation of different perspectives. Figes was used well to frame communist aggression's consequences. Your point about how Korea was driven by unification desire spurred by Cold War powers whilst Russia was internal ideological fragmentation was sophisticated. Most main points were substantiated and the conclusion argued to a consistent balanced judgement. BUT I want to see more EVALUATION of perspectives. You mention that Figes line but don't use it, let alone evaluate it. Essay's about causes, not consequences.
Maybe think about using one precise short-term trigger for each war to provide greater depth (Kornilov affair, specific Ongjin peninsula clashes) and explicitly evaluate which war's short-term causes were more decisively shaped by external factors.
Example from another student written under exam conditions:
Two of the most significant civil wars in the 20th century are the Spanish Civil War, as well as the Korean Civil War. The Spanish Civil War (1936-1939) was especially caused economically, the Korean Civil War (1950-1953) was mainly caused politically and ideologically. This essay will examine the short-term causes of each of the two civil wars.
The Spanish Civil War was mainly caused economically and politically. After Alfonso XIII’s monarchy ended in 1931, the country tried to find a stable government but without success. Between 1931 and 1936, the Spanish government changed a total of 10 times showing its instability, which caused groups of people in Spain to vote extremes, left and right. In the 1936 election, the Republican government was elected by a little more than 50% of the election. This showed that the country was politically divided. On the one hand the Republican government, which only won the election because anarchists, communists, and socialists allianted, groups that don't have the same ideologies and perspectives, and on the other hand, the Church, Military, and Nationalist fascists, that wanted to disarm the Republican government. Francisco Franco, a nationalist general, on the 17th of July 1936, wanted to use the military army in Spanish Morocco to form a coup against the Republic government. This was the main trigger for the Spanish Civil War since the coup failed but the Nationalists wanted to gain power by all means. However, the Spanish Civil War also excellently top caused by economic causes. As historian Anthony Beevor argues, “half of Spain worked but did not eat, the other half ate but did not work”. This explains the division in Spain between the groups perfectly. The division caused the political extreme elections. One fact that shows how divided Spain was in unfair groups shows the fact that 2% of Southern Spain's landowners owned 60% of its land, showing this immense division that led to economic unrest among the people leading to the extreme votes, causing the Spanish Civil War. In Conclusion, one could say that the main short term cause of the Spanish Civil War was political but economic divisions worsened political opinions, eventually leading to the war.
The Korean Civil War was also mainly caused politically and ideologically. After the division of Korea after the 2nd World War and with that it's ending Japanese exploitation and occupation, North Korea was communist, while South Korea was capitalist. This was because North Korea was occupied by the USSR, which was communist and spread communism, while the South was occupied by the Capitalist US. In 1948, Soviet troops withdrew, as well as American troops withdrew in 1949, leaving the politically divided and ideologically divided and so different Koreas behind. Both leaders, Kim Il-Sung from North Korea and Syngman Rhee from South Korea wanted united Korea under their own leadership with their ideology. The North Korean troops however had guaranteed foreign support by the USSR and China, which can be seen for example by the USSR helping the North Korean army to be at a top level and supporting them by weapons. Stalin himself giving green light at April 1950 to Kim Il-Sung in Moscow and strengthened the confidence of North Korea starting the full scale-invasion eventually on the 25th of June 1950, which included 150000 North Korean troops crossing the 38th parallel to invade South Korea. In conclusion, the Korean civil war was caused mainly politically but also ideologically, which created tensions between the 2 countries, leading to a full-scale war in the end.
In Conclusion, the Spanish and Korean Civil War were mainly caused by political reasons for two reasons. However, the Spanish Civil War would've not happened if there wouldn't have been economic causes playing a significant role as well. The Korean Civil War was more politically and ideologically but would have, different than the Spanish Civil War, happened only with political causes, not economic causes.
